“The day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth.” Ecclesiastes 7:1
Why such a depressing verse? It isn't a depressing verse, in fact one of the most uplifting verses I've read so far. To think that these words are what the wisest man that walked this earth felt compelled to write gives me peace and a sense of joy. Does one look forward to physical death? No, but we do recognize the relief and peace we will have when it comes.
When I received that text from my Sargent, the one which said that I was permanently disqualified from the Army because of the brain anomaly, I felt an indescribable amount of peace. It was a settlement of mind and soul, a sense of calm like none other. I stood there facing the blue Pacific ocean, the ocean chill washing over me, my leather coat blowing in the wind. The sun was just pouring down over my shoulders, and my eyes were cast to the heavens. Oh God how great thou art! To have waited till I stand in such a place as that when my plans came to a end. I felt such a sense of purpose when my plans washed away like the writing in the sand under the waves of God's hand. No regret, no second thoughts, no tears, just peace. I had just watched all my heart had been set on completely taken, and yet I felt such ease and joy that it bewilders the senses. Shouldn't I feel angry at the Army? Should I not feel despair that I can't pay for college? No, anger is for those who hold other creatures God created and controls responsible for their actions. And again no, college is to be paid for by God, in the way He wishes to have it paid for, if it is ever to actually happen. My peace was so complete, and my joy so thorough I can't express the sense of relief that comes in knowing God has taken you for an unexpected turn.
But, if I have learned anything about God, it is that I shall never know His plan till it has passed. Just as the peace and joy of knowing He was leading me away from the Army washed in, word came from my Sargent that I could apply for medical waver. Is this God's will, that I should enter the Army via waver? I don't know, nor do I care. He will lead my heart and soul where He wills. I will walk the path He has set with joy and peace that He set this path.
Solomon recognized the pain and sorrow that can and often is mixed in with that path. So he says, that the day we die is better than the day we are born. It signifies the day our path has come to an end, our service of our God through life is done, and we go to rest in peace in His eternal arms. There can be no greater joy than to lay upon my death bed, and cast my eyes towards the heavens, knowing I will soon rest in the hands of the One. Until then I forge ahead in His world, doing His will, bringing Him glory.
And how great is it until then, that I should have to go from one situation in which I see my complete and total dependance on Him, to another. It is like finding yourself on a precipice, falling in His security to the next precipice only to again feel the dependance on His protection and direction. I strive to live life like this, facing each cliff hanger in life, each steep edge, each and everything life casts my way as an opportunity to trust God with my life and future.
Only if I do this will I kneel before God, with tears of pure joy running down my cheeks, my heart weeping as His melodious voice washes over me saying, Well done thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of thy master...
No comments:
Post a Comment